10 days in the NICU 8/21

Lincoln gained 40 grams since yesterday! Yahoo! Other than that...not a lot of change in status, as I expect that from here on out it's just a lot of waiting for him to grow. Our good friends Dave and Cara were so wonderful as to bring us lunch at the hospital and come for a visit. They have a two year-old and a 2 month old girl, so coming to visit us in the hospital certainly wasn't convenient. We're blessed with great friends. We also were visited by Brent's dad, Doug, as he was in town attending the temple. Link loves his Opa!

9 days old (31 weeks with time in the belly) 8/20/10

Lincoln was great today. He's so fun and wiggly and adorable! His feedings are now up to 33 ml every three hours. My milk has about 20 calories per oz. and they're now fortifying it to 22 calories per oz. I know, big deal, right? Actually, it's a bit of a shock on a baby's belly. Lincoln spit up a little because of it, so the nurse gave him his next feeding over a period of 45 minutes rather than 30, and it went just fine. He's also now starting to gain weight back again (babies lose weight for a few days, then gain back to their birth weight and then go crazy). I got a solid two straight hours of kangaroo time. Then daddy got to change Link's diaper and he peed all over the place! Typical boy! We tried nursing again, but Link acted kind of wide-eyed and dumb-founded, so I guess we'll try another day. It was pretty funny actually. He's still really early. Brent had kangaroo time too. Needless to say, we're getting a lot of reading in at the hospital! It was a good day. No tears!

8 days old 8/19/10

Lincoln finally got rid of his IVs!!! He's up to 30 ml of breast milk every 3 hours and tolerating it really well. He amazes me with his strength. He frequently lifts his head up like a little turtle, and, when on his tummy, pushes his bum high in the air with his legs straight down and stretched out. It's pretty cute. Today I was changing a poopy diaper (which turned into three poopy diapers) as he continued to poo each time I put a new one on him! Ha ha....stinkin' Lincoln! We had a good lengthy kangaroo care time and then a conference with his doctor and primary nurse. They didn't really tell us anything new, but we did solidify the fact that we really can't expect him home before 6 weeks (so five weeks from now). Lincoln hasn't had any complications and everything his gone swimmingly, but Dr. Chen assured me that things do pop up and sometimes babies are kept until their original due date (his is Oct. 22nd) or even later. I like to continue in our optimistic hopes that his fighting spirit will continue onward and bring him home sooner than expected. I continue to have a hard time when we're not around him. I'm blaming most of it on the "baby blues" hormones that are going mad throughout my body, but not going home with our boy makes it even more difficult. I was at the grocery store today, noticing all the frustrated and angry mothers with their noisy kids. The moms were saying things like "I can't believe you" or "I can't take you anywhere." I would be so happy just to have him with me. I would be so happy to wake up in the middle of the night and feed a baby instead of pump from a machine. It puts things into perspective, and I hope that I can remember this forever...when Link grows up more and gets "annoying"...I hope I'll just remember how much I ached at his absence while he was in the NICU and couldn't think about anything else...about the tears shed every day...and the seemingly endless waiting we had to go through just to bring our little guy home like every other normal couple that has a newborn. Count your blessings, right?

Happy 1 Week, Lincoln!!! 8/18

Wow...it's been a whirlwind of a week, but somehow I can't believe a week has passed already. I cried again this morning because, when we arrived, I saw that his IV was yet again in a new place. The nurse assured be that it's nothing odd---babies just don't do well with IVs. It just hurts me to know that he has to keep going through that.

Mom made several little receiving blankets and burp rags for us that we'll now use in the NICU. They encourage us to bring in our own things so we feel a sense of ownership and parenthood in an abnormal circumstance. Mom had to say goodbye to little Link today, as she flew home this afternoon. She was so sad, knowing that he'd grow astronomically before she'd see him again. THANK HEAVEN! I want him to get big and pudgy! Mom has been so great to help us along every step of the way. Thanks, mom!

This afternoon, Lincoln had a cranial ultrasound. It's a standard procedure taken with micropremies (premies up to 32 weeks) to determine if they have any bleeding in the brain. Tomorrow we conference with his care team to kind of get on the same page and develop a plan and go over the results of the ultrasound. Hopefully all is well. Brent and I are currently trying to develop a regular visit plan, as driving the half hour there and half hour back multiple times a day is wearing on us and leaving us with very little time. I may do a single, very lengthy visit instead of twice a day for a couple hours. We'll see. I get so anxious to see him with any long periods of time in between. It's hard. I wont lie. Nothing makes me feel better than just being with my little dude.

OKAY...NEW INFO!!!!!! We just went back to visit Lincoln tonight, and the most exciting thing happened! The nurse that was on at the time was commenting on how ahead of his time Lincoln is and then asked if he had been sucking on a binkie or anything and how much milk I was producing. We let her know that he was indeed doing a lot of sucking and that I was producing plenty. She then decided that we should just try nursing. Usually they don't really do that until 32 weeks or so, but we went ahead and tried and IT WORKED!!!!!!!! Lincoln fed for about 10 minutes and then fell into a deep sleep! It felt like such a victory! He's so young, and is still on a feeding tube, but we're going to get him fattened long before expected if we keep this up! I can't describe really how happy it made us. Better feeding means better progression and therefore an earlier time home. This is soooooooooooooo exciting! It's worth the tears!

Day 6 in the World! 8/17

I was greeted by Lincoln's nurse and doctor both when I went to see him this morning. They were looking unusually cheery. They told me to see if I noticed anything different. NO MORE PHOTOTHERAPY! AND NO MORE NASAL CANNULA! He's becoming more and more independent as we continue on! The doctor said that his only issue is he's kind of a "hard stick" with the IVs. Just like his mom. They can't use his left leg due to his birthmark, so they're limited as to where they can stick him. The good news is that he's tolerating his feedings and they're increasing his amounts every 12 hours. I think he's up to 15 ml per feeding now. If they can continue to do that, they wont need the supplemental vitamins and whatnot from the IV and can stop sticking the poor kid. Unfortuntately, when we returned later this evening, he had his IV in his scalp! I know it sounds terrible, and I cried when they warned me that it had been done, but the truth is that it is very normal and it doesn't hurt. The veins in the scalp are bigger and better. Hopefully it'll stay in this one for awhile. Additionally, they're going to be fortifying my milk...adding vitamin D. Doctor Chen says that no one gets enough vitamin D, so it's normal to do as such. Brent got his first kangaroo care time with Link tonight. SO CUTE! The boys chilled and reclined, and I read to them from Brent's latest book of tales of mountaineering. I also got a nurse who told me that if I wanted Mom to touch him then I had the right to let her. Previous nurses had said only mommy and daddy. So, momma got to lay her hands on him a bit and I think it satisfied her greatly to do so. It was a good day.

Day 5 in the World 8/16

We had a lot of new stuff to learn today! I went the NICU and pumped first thing. Okay, maybe it's TMI but it's a huge part of life right now and so essential for Lincoln. The nurse on at that time said that she looked at my milk supply in the freezer and was shocked at how much there was after only five days. Yay! Lincoln will not starve!!! I got to do "kangaroo kare" time again. Love it. I feel as though it's so therapeutic for both of us. Later I learned to give Link a neonatal massage. Preemies have a hard time with all the overstimulation in the world...touch, sounds, everything can be stressful to them. The massage helps them recognize that touch is good and it really soothed Link. You could see him relaxing not only physically, but on the monitors as well. It was fun, and we'll do it every day now when we visit. I took his laundry home and washed it and added some of our blankets and clothes to the mix. They encourage parents to do as much of that "normal" stuff as possible to help us feel needed. It was fun to do a whole load of little baby things! This evening I visited again accompanied by our good friends Tim and Hayley. It was so fun to just hold him and visit with friends. Tim and Hayley are so wonderful and they just love the NICU, as she is a dietician/lactation specialist and he hopes to be a neonatologist. Naturally, they were smitten by our handsome little guy! I managed to make it through today without getting any post-partum tears at all, so that's an accomplishment! I feel overwhelmed with optimism concerning Link's condition, as it has been reinforced countless times by his care team. I know the Lord loves him and is watching over him. And, though the wait is long, I know that someday Lincoln will be here at home with us...just hanging out...and we'll be a happy little family forever!

Day 4 in the World

I got to have "Kangaroo Kare" time with Link today. It was AWESOME! Extensive studies have shown that skin-to-skin contact between baby and mommy dramatically increases the health of little preemies. It is said to help with lactation, breathing, sleep, weight gain, creating antibodies for the new environment, etc. So, today, I got to hold my little guy against my bare chest and recline in a comfy chair and just enjoy. It was fantastic, and it made Lincoln so calm and content. We did it again at my evening visit, and it proved to be equally satisfying for both myself and him. Link's nurses continue to comment on his vigor and good health. They call him "feisty" because he likes to wiggle so much. They curl all sorts of rolled up blankets and shaped pillows around him to make him feel contained as though in the womb. He's now taking 6 ml of my milk at feeding times, and seems to be gaining weight! Brent helped me in a difficult moment to recognize a blessing in the midst of this hard time. Had Lincoln not come early, that's two months less that we would have had to enjoy his little Spirit. Sure, he would have been in the womb...but the bond and reality of a child-parent relationship obviously grows far more once the little guy comes into the world. We get bonus months!!! I love my boys.