Christmas in Coeur d'Alene 2011

Lincoln wasn't too thrilled on Christmas morning...or really at all during the whole vacation! He was teething...two molars.
Christmas Eve dinner with just the immediate family.
Brent and Lincoln watching some Christmas Classics. Lincoln loved sitting in Tawny's old rocking chair, and this was the first time he ever seemed very interested in the television.
Tawny came home from her mission in San Diego on the 20th. It was so fun to see her again and hear her report on her mission.
Link and Auntie Tawny in the kitchen.

Photo Book

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2010

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Some more recent pics!!!!!

Come What May & Love It

I really needed to hear this yesterday and though I'd share with whomever is out there. May it bring you comfort and peace.

Sept. 4-5 (24-25 days)

Highs and lows. That's what I've been experiencing as a post-partum mom. I really don't have much to complain about, I suppose, but I'm just so anxious for Lincoln to progress (even though he's ahead of the game). Yesterday Lincoln had some great success with bottle feeding! His night nurse fed him two full bottles (40ml each) at two of his feedings. So, when I got there and tried to do the same.....he was tired. I had never given him a bottle before, so I was super excited. He took a bit of my bottle, but mostly was just tired and had a hard time swallowing so he coughed a lot. At his gestational age, it's really hard to suck-swallow-breathe, so you have to lay them on their sides to take a bottle and point the nipple to the side of his mouth so any milk pools in the side and doesn't choke him. It's complicated and doesn't feel terribly natural. I was sad that it didn't really work very well for me and left for the afternoon pretty bummed. Later last night I returned to the hospital with Brent and was able to give Link more than half of a bottle without any trouble! We always first give him the option of nursing. When he gets annoyed with that, we move to the bottle and whatever he hasn't eaten of his 40 ml, they give him through his tube. It's a slow and frustrating process.

Today we focused on nursing. I was frustrated and sad because he just sat there while I tried, and I really want to make that our primary source for feedings. The nurse called in a lactation specialist, and she worked wonders (as always). She showed us how to stimulate him so he'd be more alert and gave us both a pep talk and tips. Sooner than later, he latched on and fed (on and off) for about 20 minutes! It must have been exhausting for him, because when I tried again at his next care time, he wouldn't even wake up. Naturally, that left me frustrated again. I wish I wasn't so emotional about it all, but it's all I can think about right now and the most important thing to me. Poor Brent must be wondering when he's going to get his sane wife back.

On a happier note, Link is up to 4 lbs. 11 1/2 ounces! His nurses are now preparing us for discharge. We have several videos and trainings to participate in before he's able to come home (plus the other obvious milestones he has to reach). Sometime this week he should be taken off the caffiene that keeps him from forgetting to breathe or his heartrate going down significantly. Many babies have these all the time even with the caffeine, but Link doesn't have a single one recorded. He has 7 days for the caffiene to wear off and then has to go 5 straight days without significant dips in either of the aforementioned. He also has to be able to take all his feedings by bottle and/or nursing. Other than that, we're home free. They're predicting about three weeks from now. I bought his carseat yesterday and his bedroom is pretty much ready. What a change it will be to have him home!!! I can't wait.

9/3/10 33 Weeks gestational age!

Lincoln is up another ounce from yesterday!!! Unfortunately, he's doing far too well to be in a private room still and a new 25 week old baby was just born, so Link got moved to a row of non-private areas where he'll stay for the remainder of his time there. We'll have to get used to the lack of privacy during nursing/kangaroo time/etc. but we're grateful that we got to ever be in a private room to begin with! He took 20 ml of milk in a bottle for his nurse this morning before we got there! This is GREAT news. Unfortunately, he had another bum day at nursing. He wouldn't even perform for mommy's birthday!!! Ha ha. He's doing great though. We love him soooo much! Enjoy these new pics featuring a onesie handmade by the oh-so-crafty Melissa Fowler! Ha ha...I suppose it's about time we toughen the little guy up a bit!

22 Days in the NICU 9/2/10

In the words of Dr. DeMarie this morning during rounds, "This is Master Lincoln. He's just cruisin' along. You'd never be able to tell he was a 29-weeker." I just loved that he called him Master.

Link weighed in at 4 pounds 7.2 ounces today! That's a whole 2 ounces more than yesterday! I guess I don't have to worry about getting that expensive carseat that can take babies under 5 pounds anymore. At this rate, he'll be well over 5 pounds when he's discharged. Unfortunately, the weight alone wont get him home. He had two great days of nursing, and then today he was just fussy the whole day and didn't want to have anything to do with the "nip drip." Has he caught on to the fact that he can get 38 ml of milk every three hours with zero effort through his tube??? Let's hope that he'll perform a little better tomorrow. It is my birthday, afterall.

My friend from church, Katie Willis, came to visit for a couple hours today. Not only did she drive all the way down and bring me a yummy lunch, she left her own two month-old with a babysitter so she could do it! Now that's a good friend! It was fun to chat with her and introduce her to Link's world. Katie also has put in some time in a NICU as her little one had to have a couple surgeries shortly after birth. It's nice to be able to chat with those that have shared experiences. Most parents get to go through an extremely different process in the first months of their babies lives. It's hard to let go of the expectation of normalcy and deal with all the trauma, and chatting with others who can empathize is helpful. I'm starting to wonder about what I can do in the future to help other premie moms to cope with their unique situations. There is a parent support group at this NICU, and though I've had little interaction thus far with them, the president remembers Lincoln's name when I see her on occasion and asks me how he's doing. That always impresses me since there are at least 15 or so other babies in the unit currently. They also gave us an adorable little hand-knit blanket and hat for him. Throughout this whole process we really have been the recipients of the goodness of others.

20-21 days Aug. 31st and Sept. 1st

Sorry, I'm slacking! Things are going great! Link has been labeled the "Stealth Baby" of the NICU 'cause he's cruising right along, bypassing all the things that could be wrong with him at his early age! The last couple days we've made some great breakthroughs in nursing. I was introduced to what is called the "football hold" and it has made all the difference. Don't get me wrong, he's not fully feeding, but we're making improvements. The nurse today said that she predicted he'd probably be home in 3 weeks if he kept going at this rate!!!! SOOOO exciting! Originally they told us Oct. 22nd (his due date) and 3 weeks from now is a whole month before that!!! I'm trying not to get my hopes up...but can you blame me? YAY!

Additionally, I feel like we're bonding a lot more with Link. He seems to love the time that he's awake and hanging out with us. He looks at me in the eyes and just generally seems happy and more at ease. He responds much better to touch now, and I feel like I can hold him and kiss him like a normal little baby. We're moving on up!

Oh, and today Link weighed in at a whopping 4 pounds 5 ounces! He's gaining so quickly!

19 Days!!! 8/30/10

8/29/10 Day 18

Today Lincoln reached 4 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day #17 8/28

Lincoln is up to 1810 grams today, which, by my calculation is 3 pounds and 15.8458712 ounces!!! Maybe he'll be up to 4 pounds tomorrow! So exciting! I spent six hours with Link this afternoon, two care times (with 2 poopy diapers), 2 kangaroo care times, 2 nursing attempts, and 2 pumping sessions. Link just loves to nuzzle! He's also been bumped up to 36 ml of milk every three hours, so I imagine he'll keep growing like a little weed!

I'm trying to figure out if he has features that look like mine or Brent's, but he just seems too little to have locked into his looks! I think he's got my nose, and obviously he's got Brent's extra dark brown hair...but other than that, I don't know! What do you think?

8/27 Day 16

Today was another good day with our little man. Lincoln is up to 1770 grams...which I think is nearly 4 lbs. Now that he's not having his temperature controlled, we wrap him up like a burrito (Brent calls him a torpedo), and it's so adorable!

Today a harpist came in to the NICU and played for an hour or so! It was so cool! The heavenly, soothing music was perfect for all those little angels! I talked to her as she was leaving and found out that she comes a couple times a week (though she's been away on vacation for awhile, which is why I've not seen her before) and has been for years. She was born here at St. Joe's and in the NICU as an infant for 63 days! I was so impressed at her desire to continue to give back to the unit that gave her life! She's probably about my age.

I met with a lactation specialist today to get some tips on introducing Link to nursing. One idea she gave me was to soothe him with my pinky on the roof of his mouth rather than the binky. The binky is good because he practices sucking, but my pinky is better because he gets the smell and taste of me, plus I can get a feel for how he's developing his little mechanism. I'm getting frustrated because feeding is the only thing left he has to do...but it's the one that takes the longest, the most patience, and the most development on his part. Even some full term babies have serious problems with it. Let's hope that he's as precocious in this as in everything else.

It's funny....had Lincoln still been in the womb, he'd only be at 32 weeks now. I'd have 8 more weeks of pregnancy in front of me! I guess, if you try to count the blessings in a rough circumstance, one could look on the bright side and say "Hey, I gained 20 lbs in my pregnancy and lost 15 of them all in one day!" I suppose I would have had a lot more work to do had I given birth in October! Now, it's Link that has to do all the work, and sometimes I just feel so miserably guilty for that. I know I shouldn't. We have no known cause for his early birth. As far as we know, I did everything right. I ate well. I kept up mild exercise. I was getting good sleep and not stressing about anything (at least since school had been out) and I've never done drugs or alcohol a day in my life. One could theorize and wonder, and the doctors even did tests to see if it was an infection or something, but, at the end of the day, only the Lord knows the big plan.

15 days of life and a BIG BOY bed!

Lincoln got to move into a big boy bed today!!! He now can control his own temperature so no longer needs the isolette! Yay! No more changing his diaper through two little holes! He also gained 36 grams since yesterday! Brent was able to escape a couple times during his work day to come over and visit Link and I at St. Joe's. We love our little guy soooooo much!!! It's funny, today I had someone tell me "Oh, don't worry, you have 18 years to get sick of Lincoln." My thought was just how I would love nothing more than to just cuddle with him ALL DAY LONG!

2 weeks and running!

Well, the first good news is that our little Link has regained and exceeded his birth weight! He's now 3 pounds 11 1/2 oz. For those of you who don't know how it works, here's an explanation: babies are born with extra weight to deal with the stress of labor and that initial life outside the uterus, and that weight is then lost. Additionally, many of the IV fluids used during labor (and I had lots, as I was in labor for 5 days) are lost in those initial days of life. It is normal for babies to lose about 5% of their birth weight and then return back to birth weight within 2-3 weeks of life. So, we're hoping that he just keeps fattening up! He is still on 33 ml of milk every 3 hours. The milk has been fortified with 4 extra calories per ounce, vitamin D, protein (as of yesterday), and new today, a multi-vitamin to help aid in healthy growth. Dude, wouldn't it just be easier to give the guy a slice of pizza!

Today we were joyed by a visit from Brent's cousins, Brad (from Arizona) and Brenda (from California). They were so excited to see our little guy, and it was fun to visit with them over lunch and show them how Lincoln's little life is working these days. They even got to witness a good poopy diaper!

We also got a sweet little package in the mail from a dear sister in my home ward (Coeur d'Alene), Linda Edwards! She sent the cutest little soft (stuffed animal-like) baseball, football, basketball and soccer ball! She had already gotten us a gift at my shower in Coeur d'Alene! What a thoughtful and wonderful lady Linda is!!!

We are continually touched by the prayers and well-wishes from all over the world. Thank you all, and God bless!

13th day of life!!! 8/24

Link looks a little dazed and confused in this one, but I love how little he looks next to the teddy bear that Tim and Hayley got for him.




Lincoln was so darn cute today. His nurse got me excited because she was talking about how great he's doing and how he hasn't had any complications, etc. and then encouraged me to make sure I was ready for his homecoming with the carseat, crib, etc. Now, I'm trying NOT to get my hopes up, because I know how long he's supposed to be in there, but this is really soon!!! Brent keeps reminding me that initially they tell everyone not to hope for anything before the original due date (his is Oct. 22nd) because he wants to protect me from an emotional breakdown, but I'm just gonna go ahead and hope anyway!!!!! So, now that we have the crib put together, I went out and bought the crib mattress this evening and am washing all the sheets, blankets, etc. I'm excited to have it all put together. Link tried at nursing again today and did decently. He's starting to do those cute little baby things like holding me with his little hands and looking at me while he tries to feed. Love it. Brent was able to escape from the hospital across the street where he's currently in his medicine rotation a couple times today and visit us! Isn't he cute in his white coat? I've got the cutest boys in the world!

12 DAYS OLD 08/23

Link gained 60 grams since yesterday!!!!! What a chunker, eh? Ha ha. Today was Brent's first day on his internal medicine hospital rotation (across the street from Link's hospital actually) so I figured that this was the last I'd see of him for a couple months. I had been at the hospital for about three hours with Link when Brent called and said "Hey, I'm done. I'm coming over." I was shocked because it was only like 3:00 in the afternoon! So we got to have some good family time together today. Link was pretty fussy today until his feedings came along. It's making me wonder if they should up his amounts again. He was moved into a more basic isolette, as he no longer needs all the fanciness of the "giraffe." It frees up a ton of space in his little room, so we love that, as it has previously always been quite crowed if more than just Brent and I are there. Link and I spent a good long time kangarooing and listening to Bach concertos today. He says that he prefers the joy and lightheartedness of Mozart's works, so I'll oblige him tomorrow. Don't tell his Dad! Brent's a big fan of the opressive organ and harpsichord. :) I love to rub my cheeks against his soft little head. His hair is so silky! I hope he doesn't lose it, cause with all that cute dark hair, I could really get some stylish dos going on! At one point today, Link was awake and looking around with those big confused eyes of his. I looked at him and said "Link, why are you so darn cute," which was immediately followed by him crossing his eyes together! Brent and I both laughed out loud, because it was right on cue. He learned that from DaVinci, I'm sure. We took another crack at nursing today with mild success. It's hard cause he's just so little...I don't know how to hold him!! I think I'll bring in my Boppy tomorrow. I think that'll help. Today we got a big package in the mail from Steve and Melissa (Brent's brother and sister-in-law). Liss is super crafty and made the most adorable stuff for Link. She made a really cute blanket, receiving blanket, bib, 2 binky holders, 3 personalized onsies, a hooded towel, a wipe wallet, and then included a bunch of clothes and stuff that their little boy used a couple years ago. Talk about a stellar surprise! Thanks so much guys! I think that'll help. I was overwhelmed with a sweet appreciation and love for motherhood today. I spent several hours just holding our little guy and thinking about what it means to be a mother. In the past both Brent and I have been somewhat afraid of starting a family. I've worried, at times, that that "motherly instinct" wouldn't kick in or something and that I wouldn't be good at parenting. Today I felt such joy just holding our little Lincoln to my chest and quieting his tiny cries. He needs me! He needs me more than anyone else ever has! I'm so happy just to respond to those needs and love him. This is going to be a joyful journey indeed.

Grand Teton Climb

Isn't my hubby the hottest and grizzliest guy around? (okay, not so grizzly, but he's tough!) Look at these pics from his latest date with a mountain, and you'll see what I mean! The Grand Teton may not quite be a fourteener in height, but it's ridiculous in technical requirements. Glad he came back alive! :)